Cracking Us Up: Students Say and Do the Funniest Things
September 23, 2024
September 23, 2024
We choose to work with young people because we see their potential, we want to help them succeed, we see their need for trusted adult guidance, and we want to ensure a better future for all of us.
And because they’re flat-out hilarious sometimes.
When school staff members gather, the topic often turns to questions like, “What did your kids do today?” What follows frequently leaves our sides hurting from all the laughter. To help kick off a new school year, we asked some Virginia educators to share some of the episodes that still make them laugh when they look back at them. Here’s a sampling of their responses:
Quite Shocking
First-graders at the school where I taught were practicing manuscript writing and also learning about Ben Franklin. To hone their skills in writing paragraphs, they were using the four-square method, in which they would write one sentence in each of the four corners of their papers. These four-square paragraphs were destined for display in the hallway outside their classroom. One enterprising student, in his best writing, set down highlights of Franklin’s life in four sentences.
In the first corner, he wrote, Benjamin Franklin was born in Boston. In the second, Benjamin Franklin moved to Philadelphia. In the third, Benjamin got married. And for the final corner, he added, Then Ben discovered electricity.
Joseph Marler, retired, Bristol
History-Making Quotes
I do a quote board in my classes every year (I teach choir to students in grades 6-12) and here are some of my favorites from this past year:
Katie Seidemann, Montgomery County
Um, That One’s Not on the Shelves
One day when working in the library, a first-grader came bounding up to me and, with great excitement, asked if we had any “Fasty Nasty” books. Puzzled, my assistant and I looked at each other—and then it dawned on me. “Do you mean Fancy Nancy?” I asked. “Yes!” she said. I’m guessing Fasty Nasty is a whole different character…
Mary Beth Utley, Henrico County
The Band Goes on Tour
Kathleen Jacoby, Fairfax County
An Eye-Opening Development
One of my sixth-grade boys was having problems with his recently acquired glasses. He’d noticed that the part of the frame over his ear had become separated from the lens portion. I saw him holding his glasses carefully at an angle and asked him why. He said he was afraid that the “prescription” would run out of the glasses since the earpiece was detached. We sat down for a little chat about his fears and he explained that when he picked out the frames his vision was not corrected, but when he went back to pick them up later they had put the “medicine” in the glass portion and he knew his mother would be upset if it leaked out.
Helen Wood, retired, Henrico County
Is There a Medal for That?
Years ago, my now-husband was in the Navy and was my class’s pen pal. He returned from deployment, having just earned a promotion to the next rank, and my second-graders planned a celebration. A sweet student and I met him at the front of the school to escort him to the classroom. We saw the principal on the way down the hall and with all of the pride a second-grader could muster, the student introduced him, saying, “This is our friend. He just got perverted!”
Jessica Early Meier, Chesapeake
Soviet Slapstick
I taught the novel Animal Farm to ninth-graders for almost 40 years. Since it’s a dystopian allegory based on the Soviet Union, I found that students enjoyed it more after learning some basic Russian history. So, before starting the book, I assigned brief research presentations to practice research skills and gain background knowledge. I also required a visual aid and, since this was before the PowerPoint age, most students chose a poster. One memorable student created a poster about Karl Marx, using a list of less-than-informative handwritten text and photos copied from encyclopedias. At the top was a large photo of Marx. Underneath was another large photo, this one of Karl’s brothers: Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zeppo. I kept the poster for many years as a warning about the dangers of procrastination.
Chip Carter, retired, Henrico County
Probably Not a Future Zookeeper
Me: “Hey! Would you like to see the new classroom pet?”
Kindergarten student: “I’m a little nervous. I would like to try.”
Me: “Thank you for being brave.”
(We walk to small cage on the back counter.)
Me: “Look! They are called guinea pigs!”
Student: (gasps) “No thank you! I would not like to see the squirrel pigs anymore. I’m all done.”
Kelley Green, Virginia Beach
Stop By Sometime
One day after completing some work with clay with my elementary art students, I told them that the projects would dry and then I would fire them in the kiln. One student raised his hand and asked where the kiln was. I pointed to the room adjoining my classroom and opened the door so the students could see the kiln. The student then said, “Oh, we thought you lived in that room.” (I had to explain that I was married, had two children, and lived in a house just like they did).
Julie Aittama, retired, Shenandoah County
Now that’s High-Energy Teaching!
Tracie Mercier, retired, Bristol
Adventures with Kindergartners…
Mary Lynn Taylor, retired, Henrico County
Old Souls?
I’ll call these two feisty three-year-olds Tee and Chi. On Valentine’s Day we were reading the book Arthur’s Valentine in our preschool class, and I asked them a question. Tee stood up and said, “Chi is my Valentine, and she is cute.” Chi smiled and responded, “He would be my Valentine, too, if he didn’t annoy me so much.” Later that day we were doing an art activity and they were arguing with each other: “Chi, stop being mean and nagging me.” “Tee you don’t listen to word I say.” They came up to me: “Tee is being annoying.” “Chi is being a big old nag.” I said, “Friends it sounds like you both have a problem.” They looked at me and said, “Mr. Turner, we need a break from each other. Maybe we need to play with other people.” Now I was trying my hardest to keep a straight face and not bust out laughing because these two argued like a married couple. The relationship challenges continued through nap time and dismissal. Chi woke up first, walked over to a sleeping Tee with her hands on her hips and said, “Tee Matt Jr! Naptime is over! Wake up now!” Tee rolled over and said, “Go away woman! I need one more minute.”
Darrell Turner, Richmond
A Pretty Lax Dress Code
A high school freshman boy sitting in the back of my science classroom stood up one day and pulled his shorts down. I was so stunned that I couldn’t do anything at first but stutter. “What?!” he said. “I have another pair on!”
Former VEA President Meg Gruber, retired, Prince William County
Couldn’t Have Said It Better Ourselves
I had a student who, in the first two weeks of school after COVID, hit one student at recess and kicked another. Not long after, she moved to another school. A year later I received an email from her, saying that while it was likely I didn’t remember her, she wanted to apologize for being so bad during the short time she was in my class. She signed it Sinceriously, and then her name. My team and I thought that was such a great word that we used it as our Team Name and in other ways throughout the year.
Alexa Severo, Loudoun County
Well, that was Awkward
When I taught eighth grade, I introduced new units by previewing content and letting the kids go through it in order to identify words they didn’t know. The idea was that if one kiddo didn’t know a word, then likely multiple others didn’t know it, either. We’d then use context clues and the collective knowledge in the room to try to create a definition. As we did the introduction to colonial government, there was a reference to colonists having the same rights as “Englishmen,” a word some of the kids didn’t recognize. I asked the class for some thoughts on the term and one girl immediately piped up, “Oh, Mrs. Steele, I love Englishmen! I just want to drizzle them with honey and go crazy.” The rest of the class got pretty uncomfortable (as you might imagine), but being a seasoned middle school teacher, I didn’t even miss a beat: “Do you mean English muffin?” I asked. Of course, that’s exactly what she meant.
Sarah Anzelmo-Steele, Richmond
Impromptu Civics
In my Civics/Economics class we do quick checks periodically to measure growth, sometimes using a strategy called Fast & Curious. The students get very competitive, both to beat their previous class scores and to compare to other classes. In one class, I asked if I could play the gimkit, too. The kids all yelled “NO!” but then one realized my score would help the class average and yelled, “Wait! She can help us win!” I said, “Sorry, the class has already voted.” He stood and said, “I demand a recount!” I laughed and asked if he had a second to support his motion. He looked at his tablemates and friends and another boy said he’d second. I then formally addressed the class and said, “A motion to reopen the previous vote has been moved and seconded. All in favor?” The majority of students yelled “Yes!” and “Aye!” I declared the vote reversed and grabbed my phone to play the game. I heard a student say, “Ah yes, democracy at its finest,” to which his tablemate replied, “Absolutely! And I am here for it!”
Erin Merrill, Prince William County
A Long Way Up
A kid came back to class after having asked for permission to go to the bathroom. I thought he was back too quick, asked him about it, and he told me he couldn’t reach because the toilet is too tall. It was then that I realized why the toilet in the staff restroom often had a wet seat. Littles are not used to the larger multi-toilet bathrooms in the hall and apparently had been using the staff room. That place needs keypad entry!
Heather Ashley, Shenandoah County
‘Fame’ is Relative…
During a Black History Month celebration, my kindergarten children were supposed to dress up like a famous African American. We had talked about all the ones they could think of, and I talked about others on TV and sports, etc. Well, when the day came, they all came in looking like some of the famous people we talked about, and I could recognize all of them but one. This little girl was dressed in heels, skirt, sweater, and glasses with her face all made up. I asked her if she was Oprah or Michelle Obama and she said, “No, I’m you, Ms. McDowell. Don’t I look like you?” Laughing I said, “You sure do. We look like twins.” She went around all day asking teachers and other people, “Don’t I look like Ms. McDowell?” I thought it was the cutest, and it made me so happy to know she thought I was a famous African American.
VEA-Retired President Lola McDowell, Richmond
The Astounding Lifespan of the Average Teacher
During a history film the class was watching, Bull Run was mentioned. I told my students that I’d once lived near Bull Run Creek.
“Did you know Abraham Lincoln?” one asked.
Shawn Evans MacDougall, Chesapeake
Puzzling Botany Question
Conversation between two high school freshmen:
Student A: “Hey, did you know tomatoes are fruits, not vegetables?”
Student B: “Then why were they on Veggie Tales?”
Amanda Lambert, Chesapeake
One More that’s a Little Different
The following item was contributed for this story and while it’s not high on comedy, it’s high on compassion, so we decided to include it:
In a third grade classroom, completing a student observation for an eligibility meeting, I witnessed one of the sweetest acts of kindness I’ve ever seen. Students were writing their weekly spelling words in their best handwriting (names only on the back), and the teacher taped their work to the board. Then she gave each student three smiley-face stickers to place on the ones they thought were the best.
One student, among the last ones to place his stickers, looked at the papers and saw that one had none attached to it yet. He paused and put his first sticker on it, not knowing whose it was, just wanting them not to be without a sticker.
For a third-grader to have that much kindness, insight, and compassion made me proud to be a human.
The average pay of Virginia public school teachers in 2023-24 was $65,830. That is $4,260 below the national average of $70,090.
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